The illusion of kindness

I finally had my first phone consultation with a pudendal nerve specialist.  To say he was a jerk is an understatement.  But, in a way I don't blame him.  It's a 15 minute call and he's there to ask your symptoms and then take your questions.  However, when you're offering up to someone that there have been only 4 or 5 people that have been "cured" out of the 400 surgeries you've done, and you say it so matter of fact, it's a bit shocking.  As for future pregnancies, apparently it all depends on your level of pain since the surgeries don't seem to help too many people.  There was no kindness from this man.  You can be matter of fact and ask questions and get the point across but you can also have a comforting tone about you that says, yes, we'll help you figure out while you're in here one way or the other whether this is what you have.  I mean the man said essentially those words, you'll either get a diagnosis down here or you won't.  But that was the chance to toss in (without wasting any of the 15 minutes) a moment of kindness.  A few months ago I said I just need a smart doctor, no hand holding...now I guess I wouldn't mind a smart doctor that's also somewhat compassionate. 

It just blows me away how doctors (and I think in response, their assistants) treat patients.  We are not humans to them.  We are pieces of paper that form charts, a bundle of symptoms, organs, drug-takers, drug-seekers.  We are not people that feel pain or sadness or need compassion.  I suppose that's just the way it has to be.  You'd be emotionally bankrupt as a doctor but there must be some sort of in-between. Give a little bit of kindness to each patient, speak words in a kind tone at a minimum.  That's human decency, right?  Hell, fake it a little! My Pain Clinic doctor does that, I know he's full of crap but I appreciate the words that are coming from his mouth and the fact that his brain knows that it's part of his job to say them. It's an illusion but sometimes we need the illusion.