Methadone

So now I'm on Methadone.  I could try and make some funny comment about how I wish I was coming off of Heroine instead of dealing with this crap but I'm not really feeling in a humorous mood today.  It poured all day.  Fitting too because it was one of the more frustrating days of this journey.  Probably a low point just because I'm starting Methadone which is in some sense, me having to acknowledge that a diagnosis is just not right around the corner.  However, I am feeling hopeful that the Methadone will help and I am working on getting seen by specialists in Baltimore. 

I had a real argument today with my Pain Clinic Dr. regarding their treatment philosophy and my treatment in general.  In a nutshell, they treat pain and couldn't care less what the cause of it is.  That just isn't good enough for me - I'm 28 not 88.  Every now and then I encounter a doctor and I think to myself when this is all said and done and I have the answer to my problem, you're going to get a letter from me.  This guy just made the list.  To tell me that he has gone "above and beyond for me" by having 4 telephone calls with one of my other physicians (at the same hospital) is not above and beyond.  When you're working at one of the top hospitals in the country, this isn't "above and beyond," this is to be expected!  His letter will include this detail to give it a little flourish.  And he puts me on Methadone and then refuses to sign any disability paperwork.  Nice guy.  I also had to pee into a cup for a drug test. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about that - do they not trust me? They're testing to see if I'm taking other drugs and if I'm complying with my current meds.  The whole thing just left a bad taste in my mouth.  

So I've now taken my Methadone.  I don't know what to expect at this point - maybe in an hour I'll be pain-free while hallucinating clowns dancing in the apartment?  It seriously might have been easier to track down heroin than a pharmacy that carries Methadone.  Very surprising but that's a story for another day.  I may be banned from several CVS's for emotional outbursts.

Husband and I have to go to a wedding in Montauk this weekend.  It's somewhat frightening that I will be attending a black tie wedding on day 3 of Methadone but maybe I'm just giving this drug too much hype.  We'll see what kind of wedding guest I make!  We have one other wedding to go to this summer but Husband is best man so we'll have lots of events to go to whereas this one we just have the wedding and reception so I'm totally viewing this as my summer vacation.  The hotel is really nice and I am absolutely dying for a change of scenery. Even if I end up really sedated on the new drugs and just hang out in the room it'll be a major improvement to change the location.  And thanks to the Topamax (aka side effect: weight loss miracle drug), I'll be wearing a fabulous dress from 2 years ago.  I tried this dress on 2 weeks ago and looked like a stuffed sausage but last night put it on and was good to go.